The Mercy Finder

The Mercy Finder

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Another Carny Act

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls!

Step right up to observe and witness the AMAZING SHRINKING WOMAN! You will be able to speculate and read with awe along with the rest of the crowd, “Can she really do it?” “Is this feat humanly possible?”

The answer: YES, I tell you…Yes!

No longer will the unwashed masses assume along with her that her clothes dryer is shrinking all her clothes. No longer will the conspiracy theorists blog about China attaching size 12 labels to size 4 Petite clothing. The AMAZING SHRINKING WOMAN will attempt to use self-control, sugar-control, carbs control, and exercise, exercise I tell you, to SHRINK back into her wardrobe. She will become the svelte toned woman she was when she attended a wedding. Which wedding you ask? Why, back in 1972, and her daughter, Brittany’s, wedding back in 2001.

Is she doing this for fame, for glory, for world acclaim?

The answer: NO, I tell you…No!

She is doing this for 3 reasons: 1) ennui 2) a new decade and 3) slow acceptance of the fact that she cannot wear sweat pants to church.

So there you have it. Once again, another New Year’s resolution sent out over the internet. Exactly like the resolution last year. But this year there’s more motivation.

And what is that you ask?

The answer: The AMAZING TRIPLE CHIN!


HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIENDS!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Finding Mercy in the Season


With great sadness I received a phone call today tenderly informing me that the husband (truly one of those rare men of greatness and humility) of one of my dearest friends passed away suddenly this morning. My heart has been heavy. My hands hang down. My tears cloud up my contacts.

I went to the San Clemente Stake Christmas Concert tonight looking for music to lift my spirit, particularly as the shock of the news was beginning to wear off and my emotions were coming forth in waves.

It was already crowded in the large hall, but as I looked for a seat for one, I heard a friendly voice, say, "Joyce, come sit by our family." I was so surprised but pleasantly so that someone had noticed and asked me to join them. And yet because they were even farther back from the front from where I started to sit down they said, "Hey, you'd probably get a much better seat up closer. There's always room for one." And so there was. I walked up towards the front and an usher seated me next to a darling woman who was very friendly as we soon discovered that I'd been close friends, in fact almost roommates, with her sister-in-law at BYU. It was fun to play quick catch up before the lights dimmed.

The music was beautiful, the voices talented, and the energy palpable from the program. But with the closing number from the childrens' choir, my heart felt heavy again as reality set in, and I thought of my friend and her girls and her grandchildren, that will miss their husband, and dad, and grandpa so much. After the closing prayer I quickly excused myself as I was feeling a little emotional when out in the lobby I heard my name called again, "Joyce, Joyce!"

I stopped and turned around and there was a very dear friend from Atlanta that I hadn't seen since 1987. She was visiting her daughter that lives in my stake. I received all of her children's wedding announcements (she has 11 kids) over the years and every Christmas card, and so it felt like I'd just seen her, and she certainly didn't look 20 years older. Just as cute and darling as ever. We had a nice quick chat as I mentioned I was leaving to drive up to Sacramento tomorrow. She promised that the next time she's in town visiting we'll get together, along with her husband.

We hugged goodby. I walked to my car. I looked out over the lights of San Clemente and around at the Christmas lights on the hills around me and I knew--that not a hair on our head or a sparrow falls without our Heavenly Father's awareness. He is mindful of my friends in their grief. He is mindful of me in my sorrow. He is mindful of all of His children. He has a plan, a divine destiny for each one of us. Some of us finish our earthly journey sooner than others. I read the following quote this morning before I went to church. Little did I know a few hours later how much more it would mean to me tonight. From our past beloved prophet and LDS Church President, Spencer W. Kimball in Faith Precedes the Miracle:

"I am positive in my mind that the Lord has planned our destiny. Sometime we'll understand fully, and when we see back from the vantage point of the future, we shall be satisfied with many of the happenings of this life that are so difficult for us to comprehend".

And all because our Savior, the little Lord Jesus, the babe in the manger, studied, grew up, walked the earth, served mankind, and sacrificed His life for us. And then He lives, He lives who once was dead, He lives our ever-living head!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Flights Of Fancy With Two Santas

Yesterday Chelsea and I took Sawyer to visit with Santa Claus. As you can see he is now officially one year old.


Nannie Joy to the rescue

Who was that guy anyway?

After that we drove to Santa Ana, official county seat of County of Orange, to get a copy of Sawyer's birth certificate and apply for a passport for him. The passport agency is in the old courthouse, apparently built around 1910 or so. When you walk in the red brick building it feels like a step into the past. There were a few couples hanging around applying for marriage licenses. Also, a few friends of these happy couples taking pictures.

When Chelsea filled out the application for Sawyer she put height-24". Which reminded me that Brittany applied for baby Juliette's passport about 6 days after she was born because they have a post-Christmas visit to Cancun coming up. She filled out height-19", hair-brown?, eyes-blue? It's a pretty safe bet that she won't look like her photo even 30 days after the application is processed. My passport expired in October so I had renewed it the month before. Needless to say I didn't look like my photo either from 10 years ago. A little more lines and sags and jowls in the new picture. Fortunately, the new passports are so encrypted and encoded you can't really see your face anymore anyway.

So what's with our obsession with passports? This is the way I see it. What if someone calls and says "Come to Paris tomorrow" and the only thing holding you back is your passport? That would be tres mal, n'est-ce pas? Tres terrible. When Paris is sending forth its siren song I pay attention, or as my French teacher used to say, "Mademoiselle Joyce, fait attention!" And my response, "I believe, I believe!"

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Gratitude

(Spoiler Alert! This post concludes with a photo display like the 4th of July fireworks finale--are you ready for the show?)

For the month of November I posted on Facebook 30 days of gratitude. They were as follows:

1. Grateful for "Fall Back".
2. Grateful for technology that let's us see everyone's Halloween pix and share in the fun.
3. Grateful that I can feel connected to my mom just be eating one of her classic. breakfasts...grapenuts, a sliced banana and a bowlful of milk.
4. Grateful for great-great grandparents who "were truly a pioneer family, ever generous to a fault, the needy applicant was never turned from their door empty handed" obit. Sarah Ann Devoe Woolf 1814-1905.
5. Grateful that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.5a.Grateful that the Louvre is an iPhone app...hooray, I'm in Paris while sitting in my favorite chair.
6. Grateful for The Star-Spangled Banner and all that it represents.
7. Grateful for women of courage, especially Kimberly Munley.
8. Grateful for the creative industry of the Nigerians. Today I really had a good laugh at their latest scam approach. Too bad "Roger" forgot how to spell his name at the end and signed off as "Rogger". Did he subliminally mean "Robber"?
9. Grateful for and missing loyal friends.
10. Grateful to live so close to the ocean for morning and evening walks.
11. Grateful for the veterans...both those who did and did not make it home...and who have served our country so fearlessly.
12. Grateful for Primary songs that gladden the heart and soothe a baby's soul.
13. Grateful for delicious Mexican food on the waterfront.
14. Grateful for parents kind and dear, sister Cheryl who is conscientious, brother John who is hard-working, brother Fred who is compassionate, sister Marlene who is cheerful, sister Sandy who is diligent, and brother Bill who is my resource for many many things.
15. Grateful for The Plan of Happiness.
16. Grateful that inspite of a few severe childhood illnesses and occasional setbacks I've been blessed with really great health, and for me that's priceless.
17. Grateful for airplanes.
18. Grateful for the hospitality and good manners in the midwest.
19. Grateful that 33 years ago I woke up and had a Chelsea morning. Happy Birthday Chelsea!
20. Grateful to celebrate Juliette's birth day in a few hours. So far so good. All systems full speed ahead.....Ahoy there matey!
21. Baby Juliette decided it would be much luckier to have a birthday on 11-21 (as opposed to 11-20) so she waited to make her grand entrance until 3:42 am this morning. I'm grateful that baby J, Brittany, and Jordan are doing fine. The rest of us continue to catch up on Baby Einstein and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes. Happy Birthday Juliette!
22. Grateful that Mr. Winter is behaving himself long enough that Jordan, w/ a little assistance from moi, was able to get up the lights and no one fell off the roof.
23. Grateful that I wasn't raised with a Minnesota accent. If one more person at the Trader Joe's asks me if Ive tried the cranberry/goat cheese log because it's "real good, doncha know" I might have to punch them.
24. Grateful that a little boy named Sawyer joined our family one year ago today. Happy Birthday Sawyer!
25. Grateful for a quick tour of St Paul Cathedral--stunning, inspiring, beautiful stained glass and the pipe organ music was magnificent.
26. Grateful that our country is unified on this day by expressing thanks collectively. Happy Thanksgiving!
27. Grateful for leftovers.
28. Grateful for rain when you need it and sun when you need it, snow and fog and wind and cool breezes...grateful for the many varieties of weather and seasons.
29. Grateful for the Atonement.
30. Grateful.

And now for the highlights of the past 2 weeks spent in Woodbury, MN:







THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Place for Love and other Tragedies

Olea Mae Babbel Woolf at Bimbo's 365 Club, San Francisco, 1947

Golden Gate Bridge--1957

In 1946, a young girl from Idaho, born of German immigrant parents and freshly graduated from BYU, moved to San Francisco to complete a one-year program as a medical technologist at Stanford Hospital. The thrill of the magical city and the excitement of new friends and experiences in a world recently blessed by peace were magnified in the strong bold expansive symbol of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Olea and Tony Woolf, San Francisco 1947

This young woman who found love and romance within a few short months into her last year of education would frequently make her way to the bridge to walk across it. Standing in the middle and looking out across the S.F. Bay towards The City, Sausalito, and the East Bay represented new horizons and endless possibilities. Looking west across the Pacific Ocean or below to see a freighter heading out to sea, smokestacks billowing, inspired confidence and celebrated freedom in her mind and heart. This young woman was my mother.

As Mom and Dad married and quickly had 7 children, we children were the beneficiaries of my mother’s love affair with the Golden Gate Bridge. We not only lived across the bay where we could see the bridge every time we left our home, but we could also see it every day on our way to and from all of our schools. Our weekend outings often consisted of trips to The City for picnics and bridge walks. When relatives came to visit we wouldn’t let them leave without “the walk”. One family reunion in 1963, at least 40 or 50 of us lined up single file and played follow the leader all the way across the Golden Gate, while onlookers and gawkers took pictures and movies. As I got older my high school boyfriend and I used to drive over to the bridge for a stroll across it. After one high school prom at The Fairmount Hotel we made our way over to the bridge to “take in the view”. When my sister, Marlene, got engaged to Kelly, the proposal happened on the bridge.

Even after my folks moved from my childhood home, they made occasional trips back to San Francisco just to include a walk again across the Golden Gate. As they got older in years, with every walk, Mom would say, “Well, this is probably my last walk across the Bridge”. And when things weren’t quite going so well for her she’d say, “That’s it! I’m going to jump off the bridge.” There was never any question in our minds as to which bridge she was referring and also that she would also never do it. In fact, today we still often say, when there’s a problem brewing, “Well, you just might as well go jump off the Bridge”. Unfortunately, at my 40th high school reunion, upon asking one of my friends how his younger sister was, he answered, “I’m so mad at her. She jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge 5 years ago!” I was shocked and horrified and didn’t know how to respond. I guess it was good he was a psychologist because maybe he knew how to deal with that. I guess it was also good he was somewhat drunk because he probably didn’t notice me stammering and sputtering.

Upon the 50th anniversary of the Golden Gate members of the Woolf family, including yours truly, made the exodus across the bridge along with thousands of others. The city of San Francisco really made a mistake when they planned this ‘happening” because with the bridge closed down for the day, people started walking across from both ends. The idea was that we would meet and pass in the middle and continue to the other side. However, there were so many of us that we got logjammed in the center, the bridge started swaying, and we had to turn around, carefully, and try to make it back to land.


A very familiar site, Mom and Dad beginning their walk

When Mom turned 80 we celebrated her birthday by walking across the bridge for her "last walk". T-shirts were made in her honor. And of course we had to dance the hokey pokey.



Never quite sure what we might see passing beneath

Some of the celebrants

One of my favorite pictures

When parts of the bridge were being sold several years back Marlene and Kelly arranged for us to buy one of the portions as an anniversary present for our parents. It was cemented into their Auburn backyard.

Tony and Olea around 1992-93


And was literally one of the only things still standing after their recent fire. Such resilience, such strength, such a role model!

After the fire

NO WONDER WE LOVE THIS BRIDGE!

Open up your Golden Gate, California here I come

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Current State of Affairs

Mom and Dad are trying to adjust to their new surroundings. They have their good days and bad days, however Mom is struggling the most while Dad is trying to be a good sport. Marlene and her family and Sandy are doing everything they can to help them accomodate to Sunrise Assisted Living. Our concern for our parents' happiness can be all-consuming; I am so grateful for my sisters and what they are doing for our folks. But to take my mind off of all that has occured since the fire and to celebrate the joy of life and hope for better times ahead I turned to my camera and shot a few pictures of Chelsea and Sawyer a couple of days before he turned 10 months old. This is one of my favorites.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Great and Dreadful Day

"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee" Isaiah 43:2

The last picture I have of my folks standing in front of their home 7-09

Dad, brother Bill, Mom and me 7-09
Two weeks ago today I was sitting in a Carl's Jr. parking lot with Sawyer in the back seat of my car, contemplating whether or not I would buy a chocolate malt. Two weeks ago today I received a phone call in that parking lot from my sister, Sandy, telling me that our parents' neighborhood had been evacuated due to a wildfire and that no one could find them. Two weeks ago today seems likes two years ago tonight. For the next 4 or 5 hours individual and conference phone calls, emails and texts were flying around among my brothers and sisters, as we tried to piece together what was truth and what was fiction. Most of us found ourselves in front of our computers watching KCRA-Channel 3 News live on the internet trying to determine if our parents' home had burned down. And asking each other and God, "Where are they?"

It's very difficult to conceive that this could be your parent's home

Bill was quickly able to pinpoint, capture, and email to us

The brick column and patio furniture look familiar, but could this really be where Dad sat on the porch every morning reading his newspaper and greeting his hummingbird friend?

And when the newscaster points to the rubble declaring that most of the homes on Cedar Mist Circle are gone, is he really pointing to our once livingroom?

Here's what we've been able to piece together albeit maybe still not too accurately: Sometime around 2:15-2:30 pm on Aug 30th, Dad (94) and Mom (85) had come home from church. Dad was in his office and smelled something burning so he walked into the kitchen to see if Mom had burned some toast. But there was no toast. He went back to his office and looked out the window to see the bushes and trees on the side of the house up in flames and partially charred. He went outside and saw that the corner of the house was on fire. He grabbed a hose and tried to start spraying down the house but soon realized that the whole neighborhood was on fire. He scrambled back inside, got Mom and his car keys, they climbed in their car in the garage and drove away from the house. They live off a circular street at the top of a hill with only one way in and out. We learned from a neighbor that the street was bumper to bumper with evacuees and the cars were going slowly down the hill. Apparently Mom was quite terrified and kept trying to jump out of the car while yelling "our house is on fire!" The neighbors kept trying to keep her inside the car.


John pulled this photo from The Auburn Journal

Dad was probably in shock but decided to drive to my sister, Marlene's, house which is about 25 minutes away, hoping they'd returned from their trip to Utah. They hadn't. He then drove back up to Auburn and thought he would go to a friend's house, but that street was closed off. Eventually he spoke with some people standing around who told him about an evacuee shelter at a local grade school. They drove over to the school.

In the meantime, my niece's husband, Brandon, had his mother drive up to Auburn from Loomis and try to locate our parents at one of the shelters. At the same time, a member of our church and Mom's surgeon, Dr. Bradshaw, had been driving all over looking for them. First he'd been told that they'd been taken by ambulance to the hospital so he went there and searched for them with no luck. Then he was told that they'd been taken by the sheriff to the evacuee center. He drove there but no luck. He continued to search all the shelters and possible locations at which they might be. He was told that they'd gone to their children's home in Granite Bay for dinner so he contacted, Kelly, my brother-in-law. But Kelly told him his family was still in Utah and that none of us knew where they were. Dr. Bradshaw went back to the school and saw the folks standing across the room with Brandon's mom. He told us that never can we imagine the feeling in his heart when he saw Tony and Olea, well, and in good spirits. He went out to his car and wept. And upon hearing of his diligent search we wept also.

My sister, Sandy, and her husband, Bill, drove up to get the folks and take them to their home in Woodland. My brother, John, and his wife, Gayle, were visiting in the Bay Area for a high school reunion. They drove back up to Sacramento to rejoin the family. The Gallachers arrived home Monday night. I drove up Tuesday morning with Sawyer, and Chelsea later flew in the next day. We all took various assignments in trying to quickly remediate the terrible disaster and bring order back into the lives of our parents. Cheryl, Fred, and Bill lent their support from afar. After the burned out acreage was allowed to be re-entered it was verified that indeed, our house and many others had burned to the ground. It was strange and awful touring the neighborhood and seeing the destructive and nonsensical chaotic path of the fire...some homes spared...some homes destroyed, including 4 homes that belonged to members of our church.

Front walkway leading to the house

In the far upper LH corner is the patio where the playhouse stood. A little left of center is the remains of my refrigerator that I gave the folks when I moved to Dana Point (the one I bought a few days before Brittany's wedding)

On Wednesday, those who could went to D.I. and bought cleanup clothes so we could work on the property. We don't have to worry about demolition and restoration because the insurance company allows money for clean-up and we're not going to rebuild. However, there was time needed to sift and sort through the ashes to see if anything remained. We found some pottery pieces, an anvil, some porcelain doo-dads, a part of Dad's trumpet and camera, coins underneath much rubble, Dad's dogtags and the metal parts of Dad's WWII rifles, and other misc. and trivial things, which have suddenly become very precious to us.

A few dumb things we and the firemen found

The part that pleased us the most was finding that the Golden Gate Bridge was still standing and barely damaged. Several years ago the Golden Gate Bridge was being renovated and parts of it were being sold to the public. We purchased a 3-4 foot section and gave it to the folks as a gift, as the bridge has always had great meaning for our family. At the time we had it cemented into their backyard in the garden. Now, while everything around it was gray or black and nothing but several feet of ashes, there stood the Golden Gate, like a phoenix, it's orange-red paint still intact. It now is on its way to its new home in the Gallachers' backyard. There's a picture of this somewhere but I don't have it.

My nephew, Brigham, holding two Golden Gate bookends, but the actual GG structure can't be seen in this photo

Me, Chelsea, and my sister, Sandy, posing before the mass of destruction

Brother, John, in his D.I. cleanup shirt

John continued working at the site and working on the financial and insurance aspects of the fire. I helped with the recovery at the county and state sites and pulling paperwork and permits. Marlene and family helped with meals and babysitting. Gayle, Marlene, Sandy and I shopped for furniture and clothes and everything needed to set up a new household. I can't begin to describe every detail and complication along the way. We were all exhausted. Marlene and Gayle found a beautiful assisted living location for the folks to move into. Then we needed doctors reports and TB tests and evaluations. And we all had to put our 2 cents in. In the meantime, we took the folks over to survey the damage in the daylight.


Dad, using his cane to point out where his office was and that he probably wouldn't have to worry about organizing and filing all his paperwork there anymore.

Mom and Dad, still smiling. Dad said he came from good pioneer stock, and whereas his great-grandfather and grandfather had given up all that they had and pressed forward with only their wagons, so did he and Mom with their Chrysler 300m


The folks gave some money to their neighbor who had shown kindness to them over the years. She was renting and had no rental insurance so lost everything, but she did find her engagement ring in the ashes.

Two days ago we helped Dad and Mom move into their new place. They can be reached at 6100 Sierra College, Rocklin, CA 95677. Any memories or old photos that you might have would be appreciated.


Within 3 days new grass had started to grow back through the ashes


Within 3 days we had located a new place for them to live


Me, Sawyer, Dad, Mom, sister, Marlene at Sunrise Assisted Living

Thank you to everyone for your messages of concern and love. We, as their 7 children, are so grateful that their lives were spared. Dad is very happy with the new living arrangements. Mom is not so sure. We hope they are happy there. Marlene lives very close by and plans on visiting and helping out as much as possible. Sandy, too, lives not so far away. Providing Mom doesn't run away or get lost this should be a very good place for them. If Mom isn't able to adjust, then we will have to come up with Plan B. But for today and tonight, this is Plan A. And since we never know what tomorrow brings, Plan A is good enough.