Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun--A Grandma's Perspective

One week ago today, August 24th, two little boys came into this world. Brooks Nolan and Tyler Douglas Archibald. What a happy event that was. The plan was for Brittany to be induced that morning. She was at 38 weeks and one day, and on September 9th the Archibald family leaves for their new home and job in California.  The day passed slowly while I held down the fort w/ the older 3 kids at Chuck E. Cheese in West St. Paul. The plan also involved me running over to the hospital when she was close to delivery so that I could be there to experience what in my opinion is one of life's most spiritual moments--the entering into mortality of your grandchild, and in case this, two grandchildren.  Unfortunately, the nurses weren't checking Brittany too frequently and she was beyond transition and ready to push when they checked her again. A quick phone call to me from Jordan was helpful, but still I was stuck in traffic as there was some big event going on very near the hospital while I was threading my way through traffic.  I missed it by about 10 minutes. Rats! (speaking of Chuck).

This is what went on in the delivery room before I got there, captured by a nurse:

I guess they weren't happy until they saw each other again (Brooks has the pink ribbon on the hat and Tyler has the yellow ribbon--they're comfortable with their masculinity.)

The proud parents with their newest additions to the family, Jordan moderately dazed and confused.

As I went sliding around the corner past the nurses station trying to find them and was told they would be coming out of the delivery/OR soon and to wait in their room, I kept stepping outside the door to see if they were coming down the hallway. About 10 minutes later I saw Brittany being pushed on a gurney and Jordan close behind wheeling the babies, no longer looking shell-shocked. Both were absolutely ecstatic!

I couldn't wait to get my arms wrapped around these little tykes. But it's weird because first you look at one baby and then you look at the other, then you look back at the first, then you look back at the other....It's hard to comprehend that their momma just had two babies (to paraphrase Jake's earlier Youtube announcement).

I couldn't stay forever. Jordan and Britt's sister-in-law, Courtney, who lives right down the street from them had rushed over to relieve me from watching the older kids as I flew out the door for the hospital and by 11 o'clock I'm sure she was ready to get back to her family.  The next morning, after getting the kids going and making sure the house was immaculate in case we had any showings, Annie, Jake, Juliette and I headed back to St. Paul and the hospital. The kids couldn't wait to meet their new brothers. And I couldn't wait to snuggle up with them again. Courtney also visited. She has twin girls that are 13 months old so she was very comfortable with this "twin" thing.

Annie, delighted oldest sister

  Jake, thrilled oldest brother

         Nannie Joy, convinced you can never get enough of a good thing so why not have two?

You can see by now we started getting smart. Courtney suggested putting their initial on their hats to make it easier to tell them apart. Above I'm holding Tyler. Here I'm holding Brooks.

    First family photo along with the flowers the kids brought for their mom.

                                                                       

Aunt Courtney

     These guys are so far very easy babies.

By the third day, all were ready to go home. Apparently, the entire labor and delivery hospital staff was still talking about what a superstar Brittany was in the delivery room. They said they'd never seen anything like it in all their collective experience. She was calm, peaceful, radiant, and, I guess, born to be a mom. Jordan didn't pass out cigars, but he was a shining example of a tremendous husband and father.

Our little Juliette is only 21 months old. She was so excited to have someone younger than her to play with. But she wasn't quite sure at first who was better, "bobbi" or "baby".

 

She figured it out with the help of her mom.

   So here they are at 3 days old. Brooks is in the blue and sleeping. Tyler is in the print and wide awake.

And here we have them again. Home and settling in. One big happy family.  As a mom I count my blessings with each of my children and count them again and again and again with my grandchildren. How fortunate I am to be able to watch my posterity grow and be able to hug and kiss and love each one of these precious children. And I'm even more fortunate to know that this little, whoops, I mean big family will soon be living just a few miles away from me so that when I get on the plane on Saturday I won't really be saying goodbye but "see ya in a few days!"

PS and speaking of a few days, it's taken me a few days just to write this...I can see things are changing already. And speaking of changing already, we can tell them apart. It just took a little bit of time and observation. But BOY oh BOY, aren't they precious?!

Please Pass the Turkey

Conversation with my mom tonight as I was helping her get ready for bed---

Mom:  Did you say your name was Maren?
Me:  No, I'm Joyce. I'm your daughter Joyce. We have the same last name.
Mom: We do?
Me:  Yes, you're my mother.
Mom:  Your real live mother?
Me:  Yes.
Mom:  Well, well.

She reaches out her skinny bony fingers and starts to touch and caress my cheek, my jawline and my neck, the very same that I'm so self-conscious about with my jowls and wrinkly saggy skin.

Mom:  You're so very well-carved!

Ahhh, the unconditional love of a mother. Soothing even at my age.

Things to Look Forward To

1. Next week I fly to Sacramento for my niece, CAILEY's, wedding shower. I won't be able to attend the wedding since I'll be in Minnesota helping with the birth of the latest Archibald twins.


2.  Spend a few weeks in Woodbury, MN on vacation??? helping Brittany with her new little boys that should be arriving sometime in the next few weeks

3.  Chicago Book Group retreat in September.

4.  France. Date to be determined by other uncalendared circumstances.

Question:  What ties these 4 things together?

My Tomato Plants Died, My Mom Didn't, A Redheaded Fraulein Should Have--What's Happened to Me?

It’s been an interesting week.

First, my beloved tomato plants that Eli started for me got leaf spot or something. I looked it up on the internet where I read to buy a certain fungicide which I did. Sprayed it on the plant. Nothing happened. I asked my gardener what to do. He said spray the leaves and stem with a combination of dishwashing soap and water and then when the sun comes out it will kill the fungus--plus it's organic. I did. The next day the whole plant died. Guess I sprayed it too much, as in full-on baptism. I mean, if a little soap’s good, a whole lot is better? I used to be able to grow things. Now I plan for their demise. What's happened to me?

Then, last Saturday mom started to collapse and moan and groan. Lei, our caregiver, was with her. She called me but the cell phone didn’t ring through. Then she called the hospice number. Then she called 911. Then she called me again. This time we connected and I came right home. However, because mom’s now under the care of hospice we weren’t supposed to call 911. Actually, it’s more complicated than that but not worth going into. I met 5 young strong paramedics and firemen at the front door and told them that we weren’t supposed to call them but they agreed to come in anyway and assess the situation.  Mom was lying on the sofa in some sort of unconscious state. We couldn’t rouse her. Several more minutes passed and she came around enough to moan and groan. The 5 burley guys carried her to her bed where she proceeded to be unrousable again. It was very confusing as we were still waiting for hospice to call back. The 5 calendar boys took her vitals which, although slightly elevated, were still okay. The hospice nurse called and said she’d be at the house in an hour. I sent the 5 rescue men away and Lei and I stood on both sides of mom’s bed watching her. More time passed. And suddenly we heard a very tiny tiny voice. It was hard to make out at first what mom was saying. But then it became distinguishable.  Hello!  Hello!  Helloooo!

Well, hello Mom! Welcome back! Mom lifted her head and asked, “What happened to me?” I told her I didn’t know and had the same question. Then she turned towards Lei and said, “Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. I see black! I see black!” I looked at Lei and looked at mom and said, “Mom, that’s Lei’s blouse. Her blouse is black”.  “Oh,” she replied with wonder. Then promptly sat up, said she was hungry, and asked what did I have for her to eat. She was cheerful, laughing and practically ready to go to a party.

Well, no one had any answers as to what had happened although there were a few guesses. But starting with the next day her agitation increased and for the next few nights she decided not to sleep. When she’s in this state it’s always pretty tough on me because she’s sedated and doped up and wants to keep getting out of bed so no one sleeps, especially me. By the 5^th day of hardly no sleep, the red-headed fraulein entered the picture.

Chelsea and I went to Costco on Friday. I was dragging pretty slowly at this point on 1 or 2 hours of sleep per night. We were in the store for almost an hour and 2 heavily laden carts full later we walked back to my car that I’d parked in handicap w/ my dad’s placard.  Let me say right here and now that Eli objects to my using the card without my dad or mom in the car. But I truly felt handicapped and was having a hard time shuffling from point A to point B. At any rate, by the time we got back to the car a withered up ol’ wrinkly wench with flaming dyed red hair was standing behind all the cars parked in handicap locations and was writing down license plate numbers. As we drove away Chelsea said, “Mom, she’s writing down your number, too”. That was the final straw-- don’t mess with an overtired sleep-deprived woman of 61 who deals with the possibility of death on a daily basis.

I roared around the corner and drove back next to the mean nasty harpie. “Why are you writing down my license plate?” I asked her, perhaps with a bit of a sharp tongue.  “I am viting down der numbers to see who eez reely hondicapped ,” she spit out nastily in a bad Ahnold imitation (yes, I know he was Austrian, but whatever, both Austrians and Germans dye their hair red) as she continued to keep “viting”.  “How dare you! It’s an invasion of my privacy. It’s an invasion of Hippa laws! My daughter is an attorney. I’ll sue your butt off!” (Mind you, I’d also helped Chelsea pack her condo and garage for 4 days in sweltering heat, the weekend before had been especially stressful in other ways and I admit I sort of lost it on her…but it felt good to yell at someone! I’m not proud of this, just admitting my mortality.) You pit two obstinate Germans against each other there's bound to be some fireworks. She jumped in her car and tried to get away.  I screeched around the corner again to face her oncoming car and this time I made a big deal of letting her see that I was writing down HER license plate. Oh, did I mention that she, too had parked in a handicapped spot but did not have a special plate or placard? And yes, Chelsea, who lives in a world of drama, was asking ME to calm down. What happened to me?

What have I learned from all this?

1.  John Denver had it right about homegrown tomatoes, but I'm sticking with the ones from Albertson's.

2.  I'm grateful for the time I still have with Mom even when it's exhausting.

3.  Crazy pent-up rage unleashed on interfering Nazis feels great!

The 4th of July

We had a great 4th of July. Lazy, slow, balmy, and moderately peaceful.  Hamburgers on the grill, potato salad, baked beans, (I later found the uncooked corn on the cob on the counter--oh well, it was that lazy).  Lei, our caregiver, wanted to spend the day with us and work, too, so that was super. Most of the flags I've had in the past seem to have disappeared so Sawyer and I took a little trip to the hardware store and bought a big one for the front yard and a small plastic pool to cool off in.  Chelsea and I spent a few hours in the afternoon painting pictures of sailboats. I was happy to have a paintbrush in my hand again. She'd still be erasing her original sketch this morning if I hadn't kept reinforcing that this was meant to be fun and the only thing that mattered was loading paint on to the canvas and see what develops.

But the best part of all was to discover that we had a perfect ringside seat to the fireworks right out our family room and my upstairs bedroom window. Bang! Pop! Ooooh!  Ahhhh! Who knew?! If I'd been the broker on this house that would have been the first thing in my marketing. The trees in the backyard parted so perfectly for the show down at the regional park. What a thrilling ending to a day worth celebrating, especially since we didn't think we'd get a chance to see them this year.

Feeling more independent than ever (sort of).

All Roads Lead to Paris

I started this morning at 6:30 to read the scriptures, but first I checked and responded to email, checked Facebook, and ended up in Paris:


Paris Vol. 5 from The Seventh Movement on Vimeo.


Just skip to somewhere around 13 to 18+ minutes for the part that helps me keep breathing.

Two hours later, the Book of Mormon is still not open. Sawyer is awake. And Dad has needed assistance from lying halfway off his mattress as he attempted to arise in some unusual position and didn't have the strength to get back on.

My journey with my parents living with me is now almost 10 months. They have had 2 stays in the hospital, 3 ER visits, countless doctor appointments, and multiple occasional caregivers passing through including Lei, my current all-time favorite. And now hospice for Mom. I've gained 10 lbs, an extra chin and many wrinkles. The antidote? My appointment with "The Perfect Workout" today at noon and my annual fee to www.picnik.com  so I can "soften" my photos or press the "look thinner" button.

Lei and Mom

Mindless Thoughts

Here is my thought for the day. It is almost impossible to blog with only 3-4 hours of sleep at night. Mom's behavior is affecting her sleep patterns. She seems to be in a very weird stage of mania that acts up worse at night. I'm exhausted. Mackenna is here for a few days and is currently talking Mom down from the edge. I am sitting in the family room for a few minutes with Sawyer while he watches Chuggington and trying to figure out my new Mac laptop, thus this very elementary exercise of blogging with it. Perhaps, after a little more sleep (less than 1 hr last night and trying to sleep on the hard floor in my folks' room w/ a blanket and a pillow to prevent Mom from wandering all night) I'll be able to report in on all the wonderful help Sandy and Fred and Eli have supplied over the last few weeks. And now with Mackenna and John arrives Sunday, I just want to say "Hooray for the cavalry!"