By the Sea

When the folks moved down here on Labor Day I was excited for them to get to the beach. I figured anyone who had spent the last year in an assisted living facility needed to sit near the ocean to recover and restore one's soul. However, w/ Mom's broken shoulder and Dad's bout in the hospital we didn't quite get there right away.

I live about 5 miles from the Pacific Ocean so we did initially take a few drives up the PCH and I'd say, "Hey, look, Mom and Dad, over there--over there-over there--on your left--no your left--no, your other left--there's the ocean!" That's generally what our conversations are like. Then me again, "Isn't it beautiful?" "Yes", they would say, as I'd go zooming by. (Sort of reminding me of the first time I put real estate clients in my car, back in 1984, to show them houses; I was so nervous and drove so fast I was literally slamming on the brakes as I sped past a listing we were supposed to see. I soon learned to write DRIVE SLOW on a piece of paper I kept tucked under my leg so that my backseat customers weren't turning green and looking for a barf bag in the back seat. But that was in a distant galaxy a long long time ago.)

Today, after 3 days of rain, our world-famous climate was back to "gorgeous, wish you were here" and with Mom waking up grouchy I said, "Hey, everyone (Mom still thinks she lives with lots of people) let's go to the beach for a little while". So we jumped in the car (this means dad slowly moved his walker toward the garage and I slowly helped mom into the front seat, buckled up seat belts, put the walker in the trunk)--okay, 15 minutes later, off we went to Aliso Creek Beach. It's a perfect place for the folks as the benches are just a few minutes from the parking lot.

Mom and Dad enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the white-tipped waves crashing onto the shore. Dad was happy to remain sitting, but I encouraged Mom to roll up her pants and go play in the water and she was happy to oblige. Mom is pretty frail and the waves are pretty powerful at this beach but we managed to not fall over. I was supporting her like I was cemented into the ground with one of my arms wrapped around her waist and my other one holding onto her good arm. There was only one time when I got a little nervous. But, hey, my brother, Bill, dropped Mom while carrying her down a steep descent at Lake Tahoe a few years back, so I figured, what's the worse that could happen? We'd both get tumbled around and drenched but I'd save her and make sure she didn't get any water in her ears.or drift out to sea. I tried not to visualize that scene.

She laughed with glee and terror and let out lots of "Oh, my's!" We followed a few seagulls. She picked up some small sticks. Dad took a catnap. When we walked back to the bench with our pants quite wet above where we'd rolled them up, I wiped the sand out of mom's toes. As I took the picture below I told Mom to wave. She got that part figured out but couldn't hear me say "Smile!" so when I later showed her the picture she asked me if she looked grouchy. I said, "No, I think you just look like you're trying to figure out how you got so wet".

My parents started their married life near the ocean. I think it's appropriate that they finish their last few years together near it.

It will forever bug me that we have these fun times together and Mom doesn't remember them by the time we get to the car. I'm committed to remembering for all of us.