Happy Mothers Day

Chelsea, Sawyer and I have been sitting for our Mother's Day portrait. Fortunately, Reggie the Dog was able to join us. It was finally completed and I post it here:

I've been thinking about Mother's Day. I mailed my mom a box of See's Nuts & Chews on Wednesday and called Dad to remind him to check the mail lest it become a runny dripping package of melted chocolate in the heat. I'm heading off to Trader Joe's to pick up a bundle of daffodils for Sawyer to give to his mommy. This will be Chelsea's first Mother's Day--an interesting place to be as a single mother with a 5-month old baby. I enjoyed a movie with a friend last night. Afterwards she was telling me that she hated Mother's Day at church and wouldn't be showing up except that two of her adult children asked if they could go with her. I told her that seemed to be a common feeling. When prompted I remember very well a certain Mother's Day back in the 80's when my world sort of came crashing down. This was after the cold pancakes and fried eggs served to me in bed by my kids, after church, and before we were heading to my folks to celebrate the day with a big dinner that I'm sure my mom prepared.

When I was a child I loved making pink construction paper cards in grade school to present to my mom on the 2nd Sunday of May. I was proud of my artwork of flowers and faces and sure she would be, too. I thought it was magnanimous to tell mom to stay in bed while we seven children destroyed the kitchen. I never once thought about how Mom might be feeling...overwhelmed, exhausted, or worn-out. I always assumed she was thrilled with all the hand-made cards and cut roses from our house and the neighbors' and was touched by the congregation singing the obligatory "Love at Home" during Sunday School. Maybe that's why, before the consolidated schedule, she often stayed home Sunday mornings saying she had to get the roast in the oven. Maybe a great Mother's Day for her was hiding out with all of us gone, enjoying the peace and quiet, and reading the funnies and rest of the newspaper while lying on the sofa with the sun streaming through the front window. Maybe the great invention of self-timer ovens wasn't so great.

Fortuntately, sometime back, I'm not sure when, I discovered I liked Mother's Day again. I could enjoy the church service without guilt, remorse, anger, frustration, anxiety or tears. I didn't care if I got a wilted carnation, a piece of chocolate, a package of flower seeds. It didn't matter to me if I lived alone, went to church alone, and came home alone. I figured out that Mother's Day had nothing to do with ME as a Mother, but everything to do with me celebrating my mother, my grandmothers, my aunts, my sisters and nieces, my daughters, and my girlfriends as women and mothers, Mary as Christ's mother, Mother Eve, and my Heavenly Mother. These are all the best mothers I can think to celebrate. I love listening to the primary children sing their hearts out to their moms. I tune out when the talks begin and focus on the women I love and admire. I'm just so very grateful that I've been allowed to be a mother, that my daughters have been, too, and that my incredible mother is still with us and celebrating her 85th birthday on May 28th.

If you're celebrating Mother's Day tomorrow I hope it's filled with joy for you and those you love. When we used to ask Mom what she wanted for Mother's Day and she'd say, "Just be happy" I now know what she meant. With all the challenges life throws our way I think I've become a happy mother anyway, which means "Happy Mothers" Day is about me, too, as I've joined the Happy Mothers club.